pretty berries but not on my stove today
I have spent the last few days preparing for the winter Solstice giving season. My year of travelling continues one week from today as we head northward to my husband’s family in New York. Then a few days at home before travelling to Florida to spend time with my daughter’s soon-to-be in-laws.
Only a few days to write the annual letter, to send off packages, to mail cards to those I love in Britain. I have baked cakes (and there are more to come) and I have hauled beautifully frozen fruits from my freezer to become jams and jellies and sauces. Once they are cooked, bottled and labeled, they will go into bags and baskets, to be delivered to friends and neighbors.
I am finding all of this homeliness a salve for my bruised soul. What a sad time it is now, for so many. The ill mother of my dear friend and sister Sarah has made her way across the veil and into Tir Nan Og. And only a few days later, the sweet mom of my dear friend and sister Oriana made the same journey. And in the rain earlier this week, I held the joy of its arrival while balancing the terror of dear Gatlinburg, burning to the ground. Holding all those things–and others, so many others–has left me feeling like a slow-motion plate spinner, carefully watching them dip and re-balance, only to be thrown off-kilter time and time again.
But the rain–a deep, cold and soaking rain–has come to the Smoky Mountains today. The rain we needed weeks ago–months ago!–has set in for the day and the simple act of boiling canning jars and adding sugar to the bright berry juice has settled my spinning for now. There is always time to think as the fruit is stirred and the scum scooped off.
I have been considering the totality of this year which has been filled with excitement and a depth of both grief and love that is astounding to consider. In this year in which I turned sixty, I have learned so much about myself and my world. And the Divines that I serve have challenged me and infuriated me and given me more than I could have ever wished for, at the point where I had stopped wishing for those sorts of things.
For me, the year ends with Samhain but it is obvious that 2016 is going to hold on to the last possible moment and will not be fobbed off with my notion of the ancient calendar. So I look to the Winter Solstice with some expectation, as well as longing.
And the berries in their jars are rich and vibrant and sweet as summer wine.
little green apples become Cloud Jelly